Story about me
Let me share a piece of my story.
“A monk from an ashram can feel inner dissatisfaction. A bank director can be the happy Buddha.”
Usually we are raised to automatically follow the footsteps of our parents and family. It wasn’t different for me either. From the family of managers, economists and sales specialists I got the direction for studies. I started with trade high school and continued with foreign trade and economy of business in university. Collaterally I have been applying what I have learned by working.
As a 20 years old girl I got the change to be a manager for a Czech fashion e-shop store. The company was growing fast and I together with it. Soon I was managing two stores, soon after the whole region and I ended up being Operations manager for 25 stores all over the country. I was conducting store managers, developing strategy, taking care of customer satisfaction as well as satisfaction of almost 300 employees. Thanks to this experience I got the knowledge to find out how is it to come up with decision making on a higher level every day, to always be on time, to be more productive and always better than the day before…
I got stuck in this way of living for 5 years. First 2 years I was working and studying two universities presently and remotely in the same time. After finishing my studies I found an opportunity of getting promoted if I move to Prague to the main headquarters. I took the chance and my job became my most important thing in life. Working 12 hours per day wasn’t unusual, still online, ready to answer and act. This role of my, was giving me the sense of fulfilment. I had the feeling that by living like this I am good, young, successful, pretty enough… that I am the full package of what the society wants from all of us.
Somewhere deep inside I was undervalued. Comparing my self with others, scared, not believing in myself. I lived from my own previously built achievements. I found myself in the state when 2 hours in office was enough to get a huge migraine. I felt the need to put my head aside on the table and let it get cooler before I put it back. But I didn’t have time for this. So the easiest and most suitable option was not to pay attention to it and act like it is not happening at all…
Since I was a little girl I was attracted and curious to look for the purpose of life. Where we point our attention, it manifests so I had all kinds of seekers around me the whole life. Witches, healers, seers… I had always someone to discuss philosophy and keep revealing the unseen.
In Prague I started to meditate for the first time. Simply one day I just tried, felt a bit weird about what I am doing but if so many people are doing it…there must be something about that. Day after I stopped smoking. I have never been a huge smoker but it was the way how to take a break from work and be part of any gossiping around. So the day after I woke up having a strong will power and no need to smoke anymore. And I realized if only one meditation can change my bad habit what can it do with my life in general. I was curious and kept continue to meditate whenever I could. I talked to angels, spiritual guardians, chanted mantras, envisioned yantras, or healed myself with crystal stones. Later I was initiated in two degrees of reiki healing and kept on studying the subtle world.
The transformation I have been so strongly looking for had began. I had stopped being sure what I do is what makes me happy and healthy and began to question everything. I had lost mine hardly built up basis, which I used to stand on safely. I kept on asking myself, and the one up there: What should I do? What is my purpose of life? Why am I here?
Zero point, I had no idea…
I found myself like flying above in the clouds. I felt disconnected from most of the people around me, the society and wasn’t interested in anything people normally deal with. Everything seemed like a big useless nonsense and I felt like an alien on this planet. I couldn’t connect with anything, but in the same time I felt personally affected by everything. I was more interested in raising my vibrations than digging soil with my hands.
One day I accidently went to a yoga class, and during that class something had changed. It was like returning back to my body. I found my perfect connection of body, mind and spirit. I started to keep on practising and by doing so I finally got grounded.
Soon after, I decided to do my first yoga teacher training and during that half year everything kick-started. The universe had sent me clear signals I couldn’t ignore. I found the courage to make changes, to do what I was previously afraid of, like quit my job. It gave me the confidence to continue doing that. I started to learn how the manifestation of my wishes works and how to close the circles, the importance of totality.
With the knowledge of yoga philosophy and love towards yoga practise I naturally decided to make a trip to India. Never before I had been further than on the edge of Africa. I decided to ignore all the articles about traveling in India as one of the most difficult countries in the world and it was the best decision I could make. Thanks to 6 weeks long trip I got incredible amount of experiences, friendships, partnership, self confidence, new information and more possibilities.
After I came back I found myself in the big unknown… The crossroad between my old me, and new me. Between who I was, and who I want to become. I was choosing whether go back to work, but just imagine to be back in the same train of retail management was more pulling me down than calming me down. I knew that if I go back, it will be too hard to jump of that train again. Job offers which were hard to reject started to flow towards me. Still they represented some sort of soul sell out for what I would gain. Instead of the easy option I had already walked on before, I choose the unknown one that, scares me. But behind the overcame fear accomplished dreams lies.
Next few months were the best month of my life so far. Everything started to come along so easily in form of synchronicities. I learned how to build good relationship with the universe and how to trust it.
I became full time yoga teacher and after every class I was filled me with powerful stream of energy. For the first time in my life I shared my passion with other people.I had enough time to practice yoga, to paint, finished another yoga trainings and learned new things. I gained new friends that are like a family to me and found my soul mate and love.
If I got into the cycle of mind, insecurities what’s gonna happened next, fears and worries, I recognized my old patterns and gave myself a permit to step aside. I decided to fill the space by something joyful and rather let the universe to deal with it. The results were unbelievable. During few hours, days, sometimes weeks, the problem was either solved or the new perspective of solution opened up before me, which I was not able to see before.
Before I felt disconnected from people and society… now I felt strong connection to everything and everyone around me. I realized the importance of service to others and I got the chance to see how the law of attraction works.
If we keep walking the path of staying true to ourselves, if we keep trying and following our dreams, that can appear as the biggest fears from the beginning. Than we slowly come to find out, that we have this ability to ‘let ourselves be lead’ and by that manifest anything we wish into our lives.
I bet that you have definitely met a person, who somehow fascinated you. You felt amazing in his or her presence, but you didn’t know why….
When we taste how is it to let our selves be lead, we will continue doing it again and again, gradually we will start to spread the vibration of satisfaction, serenity, self confidence around us and these vibrations are naturally attracting people. The ones, that vibrates on the same frequency, as well as the ones, that are being inspired by these vibrations.
I got the feeling that my time in Czech got depleted for some time. As if I couldn’t see and feel how it continues in my beloved Prague, neither in my beloved country. I felt to be drowned to explore more of this amazing planet, meet new people, improve in foreign languages, teach yoga by the ocean and in the mountains and for the whole world, get to know more of the yoga community, help to spread it and make it grow. To face the situation that can happen behind the boarders of different cultures. To live the diversity that our world offers, and let the new doors open for the new possibilities that lies behind these diversities. By all that be able to distinguish where is my place in the future.
So, I went for traveling. Left my beloved apartment, returned my car and packed into one backpack without knowing where I am gonna go, or when I am gonna come back. I am not alone. Alongside traveling I am exploring how is it to live a partnership with my soul mate and getting to know both polarities inside myself.
Despite this my story doesn’t end by getting to know the “manual” for life. The manual doesn’t exist and even if we find it, its useless until we wont start to live it.
Everyday the new amazing story is written, so amazing that I feel blessed to share it.
Our universe is created from the certain patterns and templates from which is built up. Through living it we can encode them.
We can’t understand them unless we live them.
What we can is inspire each other, support each other, create life on this planet by being an example and start within our own self.
Thank you for reading it all. I gave you the part of myself and I thank you for donating some amount of your time to read me.
See you next time